The History

When my son FMO was about 19 months old my husband MAO and I began to notice some differences between our son and his peers, especially in terms of language. We filled out a First 5 milestone checklist, and found him slightly behind in communication and socialization. We were assigned to an early education teacher who performed an assessment at 20 months. The result of the assessment was that he was behind in those areas.

Around the same time, a friend who works as an aide in a special education preschool setting called with concerns. She had spent limited time with him on a bad day for him (no nap), but had formed the opinion that he was autistic "or something." We had our own concerns, and even though, for each observation she relayed, we had an explanation or disagreed. When we said that he didn't get his nap that day, she suggested he may have trouble with changes in routine. We replied that our son is very adaptable, and prefers to mix things up. When she asked about his level of affection, we told her he is affectionate. To which she retorted that being overly-affectionate can be a red flag also. It felt like an agenda being pushed. This was the first time I felt that my son was not being treated as a person, but an organism under a microscope. This was a difficult time for me, and I took my space from this friend.

Soon after, we began to feel the early ed. teacher was agitating FMO and not understanding him as an individual, and therefore not working well with him. So, we discontinued our sessions, though we continued with her suggestions. I began looking for ways to teach FMO to talk and found Glenn Doman's book "You Can Teach Your Baby Math," which led to teaching him to read, which got him speaking and identifying pictures and words.

I have experienced many different reactions to my son. I thought a mom at Play Today indoor gym class was getting friendly with us. It turns out she was presumptuously working up to telling us about her speech therapy class run through the city school. MAO thinks that is amusing because she has a lisp. Sometimes it is just staring. One parent asked me what he was doing when he was lining blocks up on the floor under each chair along the wall. I told her he was playing with blocks. Recently, at the doctor, I told her he has a speech delay and she actually said, " Is there anything else wrong with him?" We have a new doctor. Then again, I have heard, "You can tell by the way he plays that he is very intelligent," and "I wish I could see the world through his eyes." Thanks to all the insightful people who have seen my son for who he is, a bright, creative, funny, agile little explorer enjoying life to the fullest.

In a school meeting for my nephew DJO, the Asst. Superintendent saw FMO, who was trying to get out of her boring office, home to no toys. She asked if we'd had him assessed. We explained that we had put FMO in preschool last Fall, and pulled him out after 3 weeks. I picked him up from the playground one day crying. The aide told me he was this way most days, contrary to what his teacher had reported daily. I observed the next day and saw him restricted rather than redirected, forced into activities instead of enticed. They made him sit with the aide holding him and squishing his hands around a ball to "deal with his overstimulation." They lacked de-escalation skills, continuing to get in his face after he was already upset. The speech therapist arrived while he was upset and took his ball to try to get him to say or sign ball, both of which he could do. This was the breaking point and a meltdown ensued. I took him out and he didn't attend class again.