I got 99 problems...

After a fun week-long camp out in the desert, we are back to school. The first day went poorly and we left early. That is an expected adjustment to the larger class size. The next two days back went really well aside from the behavior of the teacher who just came to the class in the Summer.

Since the beginning of Fall session, I have felt her increasingly try to push her agendas. She has approached me more and more, to the point that she has been speaking to me about nothing other than what needs to change about my son's program and what she wants me to do differently. She wants FMO on her caseload. I let her know that the SLP, who is the current case manager, has worked for the better part of a year to understand our philosophy, approach and to develop a relationship with our son. The goals that are in place are those that we are comfortable with. We have no interest in starting over with her.

She has pushed for my departure from the classroom numerous times. The most recent time, she made a passive aggressive comment about behavior being contextual and described how her daughter would cry when she picked her up from daycare even though he was fine with the staff. I let her know she should address me in direct terms and not make veiled insinuations. She justified her behavior by saying she sometimes uses anecdotes to illustrate points to staff. I told her, "I am not your staff."

The next day my husband went to school with us to observe our son's progress and talk to the teacher. MAO can always be counted on to be his good old assertive self. He let her know that we have a plan in place that is working and we are going to continue to move in that direction. He let her know she can get on board or get out of the way. She expressed her desire to form a team. He let her know that there is a team in place and she is welcome to join. He let her know that our eventual goal is for me to leave him with staff, but her attitude is moving in the opposite direction from that goal. She failed to differentiate between her approach and our approach despite repeated explanations and examples. It became clear, after going round and round, that she has an answer for everything, a listening deficit, and lack of willingness and openness, not to mention her persistent condescension and pretension.

We have an IEP in the works for mid-September. There is a new Assistant Superintendent in our district. She will attend along with our SLP, school principal, both teachers, and the SELPA advocate. Our SELPA advocate is aware of the situation, and we are hopeful that she can help set this person straight. She has become a nuisance to me. MAO asked her to table the discussion until the IEP. So far, this Friday, she did. She is obviously uncomfortable having been "told" by us. I hope she can be big about things and not let it affect how she treats my son.

I am just glad he has no reference for her shame-based token economy. If he is told toys don't go on the floor, he's bound to prove that statement incorrect. He doesn't mind being chosen to line up last since he doesn't conceptually understand arbitrary punishment. He won't be motivated to oblige a teacher who uses a disapproving tone. I doubt that he has ever even experienced shame in his life.

Helping my son succeed at school has been a big job. I am very busy and I really just have too many things to worry about to make her drama a priority. Moving on, now.