The Sounds of Silence

I really started to notice that FMO's sensitivities to sound had increased after we moved back home last Summer. The first time I tried to give him a shower, he got so upset. I had no idea just then it was the rushing water in the pipes, which happens to be much louder at home than at the house we had rented for the six months prior. That was about the time he started covering his ears when we ran the water, or the microwave, or the diesel van, or pretty much anything mechanical. The mere sight of the vacuum or a chainsaw sent him screaming and running away.

When we were camping last Fall, in the morning, we stepped out of our van where we slept, and FMO immediately covered his ears. I couldn't hear any culprit at this serene ocean campground. We walked about 100 yards before I finally heard someone was running a hairdryer in the bathroom on the back side of the brick restroom building.

After returning from Christmas in Phoenix last year, his sensitivities seemed so heightened. We tried not make it worse by paying him too much attention about it, but it got so concerning when he covered his ears most of the way home in the car, and even got so upset he cried. I bought a rug for the kitchen and a curtain for the shower enclosure to dampen the acoustics, and we let him wear noise canceling headphones when he needed them. I was trying to eliminate all sounds that bothered him.

I got the runaround trying to find him the right health care professional to look at him. At one point I spoke to a neuropsychologist, who was able to break down the treatment for hyperacusis, or symptoms of hyper sensitive hearing. She said that it consists primarily of desensitizing the individual by combining pleasant sounds and experiences with unpleasant sounds and phonophobias, or sound fears. The most important thing, she said, is don't make your house quiet. It will only make it that much worse when he encounters a world full of noises outside the controlled environment of home.

I abandoned the idea of having him poked and prodded by doctors, something he enjoys about as much as listening to forks in a blender. We turned on all the ceiling fans, and began playing FMO's favorite songs. while we made noises that bother him, at home and in the car. MAO would entice him to come into the bathroom while the tub was filling by playing silly little games with him. We only gave him the headphones when he couldn't escape from something.

Eventually, the sensitivities subsided to a manageable level. There are definitely noises that bother FMO, but he tolerates them or walks away. His reaction is not so extreme as it was to most everyday sounds. He still covers his ears, but he turns off the bath water himself before he gets in the tub. He still prefers the fan off while he uses the bathroom. He won't be in the same room while I vacuum or use the food processor, but he willingly plays in the backyard, whereas he used to have to be more than a block away. Chainsaws are still out of the question, but lawnmowers in the distance are fine, and he hasn't worn headphones in months.

We worked with FMO on increasing his expressive language when someone is making a sound that bothers him. His music therapist has been a great help with that and with desensitizing FMO through music. FMO asks us to turn the microwave off, though he no longer covers his ears when it is on. He even asks his classmates to stop whistling, a noise he can't stand.

I have sensitive ears, and my ears often ring when it is very quiet, but I even cannot imagine being offended by so many common sounds in our world. It is just another way I am amazed and inspired by how strong and resilient and happy FMO continues to be with all that he copes with each day.